Lessons learned from a shabby leader are often more compelling than those from a great leader. After all, goodness comes easily to leaders who are in “right-fit positions.”

So, what do you do with leaders who haphazardly tripped and fell into a position of great responsibility, yet lack the necessary competencies? More importantly, how do you learn to identify the leader’s dysfunction so that you decrease your stress levels?

Removing your leader’s mask is the first step towards self-preservation.

Fear-based Leader

Looks like/sounds like this: These are your “yes-sir” and “yes-m’am” people. Always seeking to gain approval for the sake of agreement. There is usually no substance, no logic, and a lack of depth. One way to determine the “yes” leader is to delve into a thorough Q&A session. The “yes” leader will likely make comments such as, “the CEO likes it that way” or “my boss thinks it should be this way.” 

Fear-based leaders are typically afraid to rock the boat for fear of losing his/her job. Fear-based leaders do not challenge thought processes as they are usually overwhelmed and cannot begin to think that any opinion other than their bosses’ opinion matters.

Learn to: Identify if your fear-based leader is operating in isolation or as part of the organizational structure. If the leader is operating as an isolated entity, you may be able to slowly influence the leader by presenting logic-based solutions for the greater good of the department and team. If the leader is operating out of fear as a result of an organizational dysfunction, you may want to start seeking new employment. When an organization is built of fear, toxicity becomes the common denominator.

While you start looking for new employment, continue focusing on your work. If fear-based leader is not open to new ideas or suggestions, log your ideas, solutions, and recommendations in your career journal. There will be a point in time where you will be able to execute your ideas and logic. This will also keep you on track and prepared to interview with confidence.

Activate: Many a small business starts when working with fear-based leaders. Keep logging your ideas and use your time to benefit you. Weekends are a great time to try your hand at a small start-up.

Passive-aggressive Leader

Looks like/sounds like this: This leader may dominate the meeting only to put his/her agenda at the forefront. The leader tends to ask “leading questions” publicly only to further humiliate the team members. Sarcasm is also frequently used. If a colleague or team member challenge the sarcasm as being uncomfortable, the passive-aggressive leader will respond with, “oh, you are so sensitive” or “it was just a joke.”

Passive-aggressive leaders have a tendency to intellectualize their behavior instead of actually owning it. It may sound like this, “I am thinking about what caused me to act the way I did?” versus “I am so sorry to have hurt your feelings.”

Learn to: Set clear boundaries with your leader as soon as the behavior is observed. Owning your own feelings openly will establish expectations on how you would like to be treated. Start your statements with, “I feel… when you…”

Activate: Start blogging with tips to help others who may be experiencing similar situations. Don’t have time to blog? Tweet! Offering constructive advice is healing and helpful.

Circular Reasoning Leader

Looks like/sounds like this: The circular reasoning leader (CRL) will try to make sense of anything and everything. There is no logic involved. This type of leadership causes confusion, doubt, and lack of trust. While many people do discuss their thoughts openly, they are doing so to engage in two-way communication to encourage problem-solving. The CRL openly states his/her thoughts without wanting to find a concrete solution. This leader believes “supporting a premise with a premise rather than a conclusion” is the answer. [Note: If you are confused or read the last sentence several times, you can see how this type of leader can mess with your mind.]

Learn to: Pin down the CRL by dissecting his/her statements. Ask questions that are targeted and focused. Closed-ended questions will force the CRL to commit. Most likely, he/she will still try to talk his/her way out of a paper bag. Be prepared for a debate or argument as the CRL will continue to railroad the conversation. They enjoy throwing people off track.

Activate: Eat healthy, get your exercise, and drink plenty of water. By managing your own mental clarity, you will gain increased mental stamina to work around your CRL’s craziness. The sharper your mind, the stronger your skills.

Toxic leaders slip through the cracks. They may have different titles, experiences, executive titles, and educational backgrounds. Working around them requires skill!

Working with different leaders helps us develop our own strengths. It becomes easy to identify behaviors that are destructive and counter-productive. The lackluster leader may not be aware of his/her deficiencies. Remember, it is not your job to fix the person. You can only manage your own behavior and how you respond. Working around toxic leaders can be done. It will take some time and skill building.

If you are in a situation where your leader and work place are both toxic, and, you cannot quit your job, stay focused on yourself.  Keep a log of your daily accomplishments. By writing down your successes every day (10-minutes per day), you will be reinforcing your strengths and contributions. This small act of investing in yourself will feed you and your confidence!