We’ve all worked with people who are difficult, abrasive, obnoxious, or just plain mean.  And, we have a way of either avoiding these people or getting along with them just long enough to work together.  These situations are part of professional life and tolerable in limited quantities.  But when this difficult person is your boss, her perception changes from mean to bully!

In the past, employers have made exaggerated attempts at pleasing their employees in order to retain the best and the most innovative.  But presently, the employers have the upper hand.  If you don’t like the way your manager treats you, there are 100 other candidates who are willing to be verbally abused to earn your salary and obtain your benefits.

Many employees have previously left positions because working for a bully was just too stressful and not worth the money, status, or responsibility.  But in the current job market, looking for alternate employment is not feasible.

So, how do you deal with your boss when she is a bully?

1.  Set Boundaries. Stand up to her the very first time you feel bullied.  Do not let the situation go without being addressed.  If she feels that you are allowing her to treat you this way, she will continue to do it. Set clear boundaries.

 Bully bosses are nothing more than lazy. It takes too much effort for them to think before their actions. ~tina nicolai

2.  Gain Partnership. If you did not stand up to her the first time, stand up to her the second time or the third.  Most bullies like to belittle in front of a crowd.  Calling attention to her behavior in front of others not only puts the negative attention on her, but you have witnesses.

3.  Be Professional.  No matter what is said to you, your demeanor must remain calm and your words appropriate for the workplace.

4.  Be Consistent.  If the behavior does not cease after the first occurrence, continue to show her that her abuse will not break you.  Eventually, she will tire and focus her attention on something else.

5.  Team Speak. Don’t be afraid to speak up for someone else!  Not everyone is as brave as you and they may still be looking for their voice.

 The bully boss can be a screamer or passive-aggressive. Either way, set clear boundaries.

Remember, you are here to do a job.  This is not second grade, but many of the same rules apply.  Involve Human Resources as a last resort—you do not want to anger the bully by notifying her superior.  Handle this yourself and show her you cannot be bothered by her tactics.  Many bullies are often being bullied in another environment, so chose your words carefully so you do not turn into a bully yourself.